So as I was strolling the aisles of my local grocery store the other day, picking up some TP, it dawned on me... TP selection is a complex process that many people just don't know about! So I feel that it is my duty as your Crohn's guide, to break down this TP situation for you. This is serious so you might wanna grab a pen and paper to take notes.
One Ply: You know what? I don't play that game... Nope. One ply TP should not even be put in the TP category, it's blasphemy! You are better off using your bare hands than this joke of an invention. One Ply is a NO in my Crohn's book... Rant Over...
Extra Strong: Beware lint haters of the world. This TP just became your worst nightmare. I don't know if this an issue that only I would have or if there are others out there that are as strange as myself. But TP should not leave lint behind. TP's sole job is to help keep you clean, and I'm pretty sure lint is not clean... If lint does not however bother you, because you are sane and I am not, then go for it! It's a mediocre option though...
Extra Soft: Ladies and Gentleman, this option in my book is a WIN! It offers the strength of an Extra Strong option without the lint leftovers! What more could you possibly ask for??? Just trust me on this one... I'm an expert. But seriously, I am...
With Aloe: Now this is a tricky one, so pay attention. TP with aloe is for many, a dream invention. This type is especially well suited for those who are experiencing a Crohn's flare or those prepping for a colonoscopy or any procedure that requires you to clean your colon out. It does a good job for times that extra poopy breaks are necessary and your bum gets a little sore from all the extra exercise. The reason why I ONLY recommend this for shitty situation (pun intended), is because for us females, getting it near your girly parts will end in some not so pleasant symptoms... I'll leave it at that... I said good day sir!
Regular: I wish I knew a way to make regular sound more interesting but ain't nobody got time for dat... Just make sure you pick a Two Ply option...I'm watching you... Yeah you on aisle 6! Put that One Ply down! Year right it fell in your hand!
TP to many is just another boring, routine of life. But for some of us, it is a way of life. We didn't choose the Crohn's life, it chose us.
So to all my fellow TP connoisseurs, I raise my empty toilet roll to you... To bums, may we always keep their best interest at heart while purchasing TP.
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